We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
