next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
