I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
