Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
