One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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