Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
