how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
