We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
