Too much gin, very little bucket
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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