yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
