i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
