What a fucking waste of an outfit
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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