i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
