I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
