this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just found a bag of teeth...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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