I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
