return my video game
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
