I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
