you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
