Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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