I hate all girls vehemently.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
