You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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