Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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