How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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