my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
