My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
