so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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