Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn star boner night. come get it.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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