All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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