Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
