Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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