its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
