I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
