I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
