At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
