I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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