did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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