So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
