White coat. Heels.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
