doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
oh god the rape fog is back!
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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