Sponge bath it is.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize