I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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