i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize