It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
