she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
