that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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