Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
