it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
