In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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