I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
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soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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