I'm going to jail i love you
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
