Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
