we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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