four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
whose ass print is on the piano?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
