happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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