my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
