you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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