Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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