I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
