Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She told me I should be a condom model.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
