Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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