were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
