my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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